दोन प्रकारची माणसं शांत झोपतात. एक ज्यांना स्वप्नच पडत नाहीत अन एक ज्यांची स्वप्नं पूर्ण होतात. माझ्यासारखे काही अर्धवट झोपेत, उठ्ल्या क्षणाला रागात जागे होत, स्वप्नांची भुतं मानगुटीवर नेतात. कधी वाटतं स्वप्नांना आयुष्य आहे. कधी वाटतं आयुष्य हेच स्वप्न आहे! जाग यावी,निसटून जावं.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

माझ्या चष्म्यातून...

Somethings we try to run away from , have a tendency to come back to us...
I remember, me n my friend had brought a kitty from our galliwala shopkeeper...managed to hide it from his parents for almost two days ...yeah...quite an achievement...everyone actually believed that homework that week was really tough enough for us two genius brats, to consult each other.. finally we were caught..his nosy sister...and we returned the poor thing...i remember, she used to come back to us for many days and everytime..we used to escort her back, almost in tears...
U wish you could say good bye...once and for all....
i wished to do it for so many things and times...its like kicking old habits...too comfortable to get rid of...
Like i was so sure i dont want to go to Dhule ever...but this diwali i wanted to...all the things good bad and ugly about the place, kept crowding my mind...
If you loose something...it becomes valuable...
Is that why i hold on to stupid sentiments and people ?
Yet they die....and fossilize in subconscious layers...
I read a paper on interpreting dreams...
I have very entertaining dreams...its funny to know...what stuff keeps piling in that recycle bin !
I started interpreting and gave up instantly...being a critic of your own movie...nah...
Happiest i have been so far , when i got rid of my short-sightedness and specs...
Funny, for almost a month after Lasik..i would get up and flumble around to find my glasses reflexly...only to realize that i dont need them..
Nothing is indispensible...not even beloved problems n people...
People more than problems...I ve missed myopia more intensely...more than even some of my loved ones lost...
But guess what, i strained my eyes recently( my studious days back?) and i think i ll ve to use glaases...i find them so familier yet many years have passed by...its like meeting yor ex-beau...
I ve stopped missing People...do i really want them back?...Let their souls rest in peace...

Friday, October 16, 2009

Light n life this Diwali...


Diwali...its my 1st yr of pollution free diwali...i miss those sutali bombs n anars n lawangis....also missing hostel big time...specially roomie...we used to light up the whole hostel like nything....

Last year, despite of dhule riots...Messed up prelims...exam blues n everything...me n snehal had cracked the best diwali celebrations ever...amongst all heads buried deep in texts..all insane insomniacs...none managed to escape...we two cheerful creatures are highly infectious and synergistic....

Bright corridors..n rangolies...and crackers on terrace...rph dinners n pharal...n masti...oh la.la..la..


Oh...yeah...and after everything...one fine day...she announced as usual...and now we will study...n pass with glory...and we did ! like the rest 4 yrs....

God...how two totally contrast people like us, had so much fun for so many years...

Miss u Snehal...
(Amongst 24 x365 hours of hardship...you still manage to call n inspire me to study as usual..)


Am i Missing Dhule? Gosh...that wasnt supposed to happen....

Anyways guys...wherever you are...lone or amongst loved....celebrate....for whatever you have, had or aspire....despite of tight schedules n damn dead lines...


Steal those special moments...Cause who knows this may be the best Diwali you will ever have....so make it really special........cheers :)

Saturday, October 3, 2009

why be rational all the time?

Reason is a narrow system swollen into ideology,
with time and power it has become a dogma,
devoid of direction and disguised as disinterested enquiry.
Like most religions, reason presents itself as the solution
to the problems it has created.

I wrote this years back ....its strictly non-political !!

कविता लिखने के लियेच जन्माला आयेला है
अपुन साला जनमसेच बम्बय्या है
रोज सुबह गिलास में चहा पीनेवाला है
अपुन साला जनमसेच बम्बय्या है
जादा पाणी घाला हुआ दूध लेनेवाला है
अपुन साला जनमसेच बम्बय्या है
घासाघीस करके महंगा भाजी खरीदनेवाला है
अपुन साला जनमसेच बम्बय्या है
पानीपुरीवर फोकट तिखट पूरी खानेवाला है
अपुन साला जनमसेच बम्बय्या है
उंच जिने के उपरसे धाडकन पड़नेवाला है
अपुन साला जनमसेच बम्बय्या है
ऐनवेळी इस्त्री के कपडयांसाठी लौंड्री पळनेवाला है
अपुन साला जनमसेच बम्बय्या है
अबे आजकल ये नवीन झगडा क्या शुरू होएला है
अपुन तो..छे!छे! मी तर जन्मापासूनच मुंबईकर आहे !

Why not Apla Raj ???

समस्त मराठी जनहो, सर्वप्रथम हे सगळ बाड इंग्रजीतून लिहिल्याबद्दल मी आपली क्षमस्व आहे. चू.भू.दे.घे.
Actually, I have been suffering from linguistic schizophrenia (and overdose of Psychiatry) lately…but don’t worry, even before I can make a final full proof diagnosis…he…err….Its…the schizophrenia is not gonna last..असो, विषयाकडे वळू..
“Marathi manoos”.
…has been an issue of debate always…But quite so Just amongst the Marathi people …err not any more…It’s a national debate…

“Marathi manoos”
Don’t start inflating your lungs with pride…we call sardarji, sardarji... not because they are sardarjis but because they are sardarjis…yeah…u got it…

“Marathi manoos”.
Now I know how it must be to hear “Bhaiyya log” from a Marathi manoos, with a reciprocal, utmost sense of derogation…

…oh dear God…how did we let things go so far…

All dear Marathi and ‘A’ Marathi friends,
If u read on and get offended…remember offense is the best defense…”Poor defensive Marathi Mulgi with Identity crisis…so immature”…yeah…well said...okay…here we go…

Imagine…in some other universe…if not in this… you are an ‘A’marathi Manoos …somewhere way up in north India…there is a City like Mumbai….and u hail from there…
A place where you were born and brought up…did your schooling…your happy homeland…and since it was the City of Hope….people started coming and coming.. From all over India and world…slowly the beauty, peace and abundance of the City started declining…how you would feel…

Walking on those so much familiar roads…now filled with filth and flooded with so many people. That one can hardly breathe…

The slum exponentially expanding…The population explosively compromising health and wellbeing, to alarming levels. and migrants slowly started to overpower and outnumber…city and life deteriorating…their celebrations so loud… as to cause cultural disharmony…so these diversely backward (in terms of indices…no offense ) migrant populations…keep on pooling and pooling…taking a heavy toll on Your City’s resources…finances and health…

Some of them in statistically acceptable numbers…eventually become City’s affluent members…Iconic…proudly boasting about their roots n culture…penetrating into City’s politics, social circles and Media…Because the City does justice to everybody’s talent and hard work…It’s a profitable business to be a Citizen…and people keep coming…
And the natives…You natives…as any society in the world history…Falsely secured to be home…Very happy staying rooted to your social, cultural and economical practices… gradually realize…that you are lagging…you have been cast away (as a part of the evolutionary game, because of your own shortcomings and inertia…that you didn’t bother to tide over with time…too ego bound to chemoflarge with new colors say).. Becoming minority…

Politicians, as always, hunting for some ‘irrational emotional consensus of people’ to encash and enchant in a near state assembly poll season…like this “issue”
Begin to Bark….
And the mob breaks out…

There is violence and lot of bad things…just a reminder…we are talking about Your City…where your parents live and travel to work daily…where were we…yeah…back…so there is violence, riots and lot of bad things…and most of all…

A big emotional divide…people who have been neighbors since generations…don’t know what to do…cause suddenly their origin matters…
Celebrations and cultural diversity in your neighborhood becomes a matter of competition…nobody can think of an ‘all righteous solution’…. Youth of the City…most all literates…fed on secularism and infinite isms of that kind…are in dilemma…instincts and isms are at clash…
Even if all those migrant populations weren’t there…even if City’s own Heir were the only ones...still they would be facing a similar situation…no doubt…less in magnitude… may be … Magnitude… that’s the problem!


Wars and social conspiracies have their own trends and designer labels…

We were too happy being Homo sapiens sapiens…So it began…first, between humanity and animal rights people…then we became nearly billion…Maneka Gandhi lost her popularity…we stooped caring about stray dogs, rats and cockroaches…
“ Even if it has spectrum of feelings…lovely “Zural”…I am going to squash it…make room for people first “ we said…
We became Six billion...Kashmir issue still fermenting…communism loosing its popularity to capitalists…America was suddenly too evil… And a new generation of anti humanity bomber gangs made their debut. Religion being the central dogma..
And then we clinched our saffron and secularism lost its charm. Those days of BJP rallies and Vajpayee’s rule…days of communal riots and rise of Modi..We saw it…
But after those five years of India shining…our economy…the backbone fractured..
And suddenly Muslim or anti-Muslim…we had nothing to eat…
Very much settled to being way over billion…Economics was the new Big divide…
Middle class came to war front…more intellectual, sophisticated and equally disgusting war began…reservations and casts and socio-economic weapons manufactured…

Welcome to today’s City. Your home land. It still stands…all past religious and new regional wounds still sore and re-bleed as and when…You natives are shouting aloud now..You feel lost in your own homeland…corruption and health epidemics have eroded the infrastructure.. Money and Mafias, all too white to be recognized…right from international to domestic front. Everywhere there is groupism..Every group with its share of money and mafias. Trying to overpower…
People are born and they die…in slums, chawls, “pitruchaya” or Juhu penthouses…living their lives. Contributing nothing. Some making headlines with being crushed…some by crash..Earth has also given up sorts..Environment too unpredictable..people have stopped worrying about tomorrow…”today” is the new mantra! From humanity to having bypassed Hindutva..Now we graduate in regionalism….

This City of Yours has had a controversial relationship with its mother state, right from conception…but the generation who knows the history is on the verge of extinction…youth are zombied by what media opines...Who has the real insight..?Where we go from here…?

Did Babasaheb Ambedkar n etal in 1950 had foreseen all of this…say even HIV and Swine flu?…This Population blast…This Gen next and its Y culture…?.Isn’t it all too alien for anybody to imagine…? If it is..Then why do we abide by everything written in the constitutional framework from past millennium…
(Do you know that fine for drunk driving is still Rs 10/- )
Today’s situation is no less than an emergency…
What if we can’t leave the choice to people..
What if the logical thing is to intervene..Take charge.. Try n settle inequalities..
A new hero is born…
Way beyond democracy…
Am I talking about Raj Thakray…Or am I talking about Hitler… Adolf Hitler…hang on… We are back to anti humanity…do I see a war?

I ask myself….
If there is a house made for 10 people…a dream house..Jannat..Everyone wants to make living out of living there..Some are born lucky to be the natives..Some migrate and migrate..And migrate.. You are the Big boss or God..
What would you do? I will try to convince people to have patience...Stop migrating and I start renovating their houses...To become jannats...So that they learn to live happily and let others live...Wait am I biased to natives…why should they get to stay..Okay…should I prepare a merit list and declare who should be granted a residency, a waiting list and tell rest of the people not Qualifying, to be happy with their respective hells...
How long do you think will people let me be the big boss??? I am sure ..Amongst the residents…the money and mafia holders…each promising their followers, voters, consumers…whatever..Yeah.. Politics is a god damn business...Will outlive me...Despite of all gang wars and riots...

Temples can be demolished, god can be out casted…But Dawood Ibrahim is untouched...Continues to live happily and ever after...

Hmm.. Say I am an ‘A’marathi native of my ‘A’marathi City…Like You…

I loved my City…I see it is worse than any dumping ground...There is no Big boss….who can set things right...Make the right choice on behalf of people... Every body rules here..It’s a democracy…and hence a big mess..There has been a revolution recently….cultural…social, economical and technological..All I think about is ”today”…and just that…
As a Citizen…what will I be facing today?

I believe in god…despite of people ridiculing me. I pray to him…that I want to come back home from ‘A’chatrapati ‘A’shivaji Terminus, aka AAT( wouldn’t it have an ‘A’marathi name :)…okay...too bad for a PJ..) to my suburb Flat (cause I have been driven outta City’s heart…too pricy…my homeland..)..Alive…!!!
I face competition in jobs, education, local trains, social, cultural, intellectual, spiritual…every damn ‘AL’ field.

I am a race rat…With a pounding, hyper dynamic heart…
I bear the brunt of recession, reservations, health and natural calamities. I bear the water and electricity cuts. I can barely manage my way outta slimy roads n overstuffed train compartments…on top of that, I am being brainwashed by media by 24x7, and though I am alert…unknowingly I am forming opinions..Labeling people..Imbibing hatred..Accepting and rejecting thought streams..Building walls around me..Trying to protect me n my family..Building money and mafia contacts..Bribing my way out.. I am struggling to stay true to City’s spirit..

Elections are near…and City’s own man…One rebellion Mafia…comes to front…’A’marathi manoos…I…am his sole agenda…very inconvenient for Money and Mafia stockers...Because they don’t want to loose their business...

Equality is a big loss for everybody…

His fellow Mafias, money and Mafia stockers and media dogs chase him to the worlds end…he still stands tall... And promises that he will put a stop to migration of the Marathi and Bangladeshi crowd in…Abolish illegal Zopadpatties…divert those resources …And socio-economic betterment of the ‘A’ Marathi people is his only priority…
‘A’marathi people get excited…he is popular..A threat to Marathi people….dangerous…anti-human…anti- nation, anti-state, anti- city, a new Hitler, anti- maharashtrian, Just an ‘A’marathi manoos ..

I have tons of doubts..Is he just an opportunist? After all he belongs to the exploiting Money and Mafia class…he is surely taking advantage of my ‘A’marathi sentiments…just after power…they all are the same after elections…A Marathi party has probably bribed him to divide our ‘A’marathi votes…right…

But wait…do the other gundas have anything better to offer (tax cut on vaada pav!)…Isn’t he the only one with a bright agenda for my children’s future?

Back to our universe…Me ek Marathi Manoos ahe…Mumbaikar!

Do I love humanity...? (Sorry Varun ki maa)... Yes!
Do I love India and all Indians ( sorry terrorists)..Yes!
Do I love Hindus( mandir vahin banayenge?)..Yes!
Do I love Maharashtrians ( Sanyukt Maharashtra )…Yes!
Do I love Mumbai and Myself…most !!!

What do I do?

If it was your home land…Your City…
What would you do...?

Think...
And not as an intellectual affluent socialite..
As a poor common man…A middle class family man..
Not so intelligent..Unaware of any Isms..
Not giving a shit about what is right and wrong…when the only morality in today’s world is Chance! (Courtesy D.K.)
Chance to buy toordaal...
Chance that you will sleep under ceiling fan’s breeze...
Chance that you will have ample cooking gas this diwali…
Chance that you will get a seat in a local train..Rather getting an entry is enough..
Chance that your son will get a job, or an admission…
Chance to live…in your own City…

To hell with all and any education systems...If they are not of any help to earn a descent Chance of Survival in my own City…You think…
What would you do?

I would vote for the own, known devil and hope for the Best!

It is only when they have food, water, electricity, shelter and network...That people think about others, about what is right and what is not…and what they love and what they don’t !
Not on empty stomach…

“Marathi manoos !”

Why fear being criticized for our struggle to save our ‘A’smita?
(And I used to think ‘A’smita belongs to Pune :)…Ultra sensitive to what people think and say…But guess what even ‘A’nushree belongs to Pune :) )
(You don’t know A’amchi ‘A’smita? Mango’s ‘A’smita?? Try G search:) ) ….

Why fear being criticized for supporting Raj Thakray? (That’s what triggered me to write this at the cost of 50 MCQs…yeah ... Poor Intern’s life :)

After all, all sardars are proud to be called sardars even if they are called sardars not because they are sardars but because they are sardars…right? :)
Imagine a new genre of PJs... With beloved Bhope Bhau and Tope Bhau (courtesy Kaminey)…instead of Santa- Banta…

“Marathi manoos”…why not to laugh at ourselves…and raise the sensitivity threshold of our ‘A’smita (and ‘A’nushree…yeah…you said it :) )

But be alert…and defend your ego… “Marathi manoos”

Why not…humor is the mature defense mechanism (psychiatry can be addictive :) )after all...

Okay…
Here it comes…
Very originally adapted…
Like our very original Hindi movies…Saw Wake up Sid btw…Lovely movie…very much about Bombay…err Mumbai spirit…( Thank god I saw the preview…than wake up to a Friday controversy and count how many number of times did people wrongly refer to Mumbai as Bombay…and miss the whole point :) )

Okay okay…back to the point…err…joke…
Are u ready…?

Bhope Bhau - Tope Bhau, Darwajyat ubhe rahoon ka Pariksha detay?
Tope Bhau - Murkhaa, hi ENTRANCE EXAM ahe !

Haaaaaa… Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa….Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…haaaaaaaa……………

Moral of the story… Entrance exam…Sorry… that’s moral of every Interns life….

Moral of the story…umm…umm…oh…..is there one? :)
- ‘A’nushree Vartak
(A very much Marathi Mulgi :))

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