Friday, August 27, 2010

euphakia !

so as if i dont rant enough about myself in every post..
another feather in cap..
a gem from my voluminous collection..Chronicles of Dhulia !

volume one : Laughing-stock - weak after week !
chapter : ophthalmology

Laughing-stock .. :)
funny word, eh..
i tried to search how the phrase originated..
turns out its a form of inflicting torture..

have you ever felt like,
you are being held by having ankles trapped in the holes..
some, what d heck take a pic..
where were we..yes, trapped in the holes...
and people are throwing wet sponges(!)at you..

yeah i know, i didnt find it funny either...

whatever those encyclopedias may say, i disagree
but yes, it can be tortuous.. for some..
and at times for those, around so(me)laughing stocks !

eh to hell with its definition..
now i am done with some totally unrelated, nonsense, desperately trying to be funny, obligatory, introductory.. paras ( u see, m trying to reproduce a (signature)style here.. Forge, India :) back to the story..

so it was rather a benign ophthalmology round..
rapid fire was on..
M was furious , coz he succumbed to a retinal question...and dr D asked me to translate some sanskrit verses, which i did, fair(!!) enough..
and suddenly it appeared, out of no where, the ominous gri(m)n on dr D's face. which only meant one thing..
he thought of an impossible question and..
"Importance of yoga in allergic conjunctivitis(!!)" was going to erode the rest of the beautiful(i won, the rapid fire, yay !) morning

at last, he threw up in our face,

u know aphakia( he he he ), can u tell me what to call the eye with a NORMAL lens ?( roar !)

naw, it may stretch for paras here, but the inevitable that followed was really a matter of seconds..

everyone thought about it for a microsecond, and turned to me,
oh no...not that i have knack for diffusing such things..
not even that i was obliged to answer as the topper..

but just to bear the brunt of the verbal consequences of such questions..
so that they can chat,text,eat, sleep, drink, gesture, while i get to apply my acting skills, cast as a profound listener !

its one thing to be present for morning rounds, but to represent !!

i remember stepping forward..
M's turn..
5 seconds, i would have to take out the white flag..
which 'yog-aasan' would make me comfortable for an eternity, which was about to dawn on my cochleas...
and had to come up with a hopeful answer, so that class could have the delusion of a representative brave effort..
little that our medico minds preoccupied..rather obsessed with abnormalities, care about what is Normal, time was running for Olympic gold...

"eu-phakia" It spelt over..

"eu-phakia"..he smiles

i try to smile..

"eu-phakia" nahi " YOU- phakia "

and not that one has to laugh at every HOD joke...
but to this date ,i swear on the belief, that it was a relief laugh..
a realisation wave, that we would be spared of an eternity-

"Importance of yoga in allergic conjunctivitis(!!)"

yes..everybody burst into laughter..
and..I was laughing stock that week !

And now that i have managed to end the story with humor downsized to the percentage of humiliation..

cheers to pretentiousness..
in the end, it manages to kill everything..from humor to humanity !

p.s. Rajesh, u are right, my self centered blogging is not helping in
nation building, not even myself !


  1. are baba mala asa mhanaaycha naahie ki tuza self blogging tu thambwawa,tula te patat asel tar te kar na,prashna ha nako yaayla ki tu self blogging nako karayla,tula aawadta tar kar bindast.tu self blogging thambawlyane thodich nation build honaare.

  2. sir, i was trying to be sarcastic, too subtle i guess... :)see, cant help it..KOBRA fangs :)



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