दोन प्रकारची माणसं शांत झोपतात. एक ज्यांना स्वप्नच पडत नाहीत अन एक ज्यांची स्वप्नं पूर्ण होतात. माझ्यासारखे काही अर्धवट झोपेत, उठ्ल्या क्षणाला रागात जागे होत, स्वप्नांची भुतं मानगुटीवर नेतात. कधी वाटतं स्वप्नांना आयुष्य आहे. कधी वाटतं आयुष्य हेच स्वप्न आहे! जाग यावी,निसटून जावं.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Objects in the mirror..



I had nothing to do.. okay.. may be a little studying.. last 4 months..

And a lot of free time... is no good for blogging.. !!

Its year end.. I have exams..its crunch time.. so blogging is a perfect excuse now..

I have been blogging for 6 yrs.. !!!

I feel good..

I remember a post i wrote before turning 24.. about what i want to do in life..



















http://anushreevartak.blogspot.in/2010/12/this-year-i-was-supposed-to-be.html

And it has worked out..

I did dissolve into a meticulous surgery resident... and absolved from it time and again to chase my

alter ego persuits..

I watched hundreds of movies these four years.. and it has emerged as my prime hobby..

And i managed to get hold of a sponsorer !! (my diplomat husband :) ...

for my around the world adventures.. Así he llegado !!..

(as illegal as it sounds.. it just means... here i come !! ;)



Okay.. i m not bragging here..

A wise old lady once wrote .. "people in their right minds never take pride in their talents"



Oh..

To find words of wisdom in the wierdest of places..

But there were no blogs then..

just cupboards , walls and those sort of things..






How can I then take pride in talents, luck, or accidents...

But they are in fact inexhaustable sources of happiness..

or the very cause of our existence !! ( yes..Interstellar phase )


So this seemingly boastful blogging is a mere documentation...!!!

Yet "In a World.... "

where nothing is without consequence...

(it wasnt for nothing.. thanks to it..I have gotten a man from lord  ;) ;) in the most nonbiblical sense ;)



So much for being a movie buff... I had no idea about this movie called "Boyhood".. by Richard Linklater



From last year sundance...Waiting impatiently for before midnight for 6 !!! months.. 

To this year's ... exponential ignorance !!


Its a unique movie .. a timelapse photography of a human being.. shot over 12 yrs !

It has hints of Linklaters other works ( Before trilogy, waking life) ..and Ethan hawke !!


Though i was 15 already in 2002 where it starts.. 

i totally identify with "coming of age ".. of this 6 yr old boy..

From video games to divorces !!....Seven Harry potters...discovering music...new city..awkwardness..

new girl in the class...crushes...puberty..adieus..and........

College !!


Only... I wish life came up with such climactic epiphanies !! 

( "The moment seizes you".. see the movie !!)


You dont learn to surrender to awkwardness of life.... like Linklater wants...

You dont figure everything out.. 

Even if you are two degrees and one marriage deep in something.. 

Doesnt mean u can take your passions for granted.. for life..


For people like me ( now i know there are many :) ..

It happens again and again ...this coming of age...is for all ages... 


Here i am .. in a new city.. up for a new degree.. i have left so much behind..

And I realize, this blog is my timelapse template..

Every post is an object in the mirror.. 

Nostalgia keeps closing in...





Thursday, May 1, 2014

submarine

















Three reasons why you should watch this movie..

it always feels that we have exhausted all good movies.. but we havent.. well i may have..but you havent, till you watch this and I ..will wait for tomorrow just in case.

it always feels like we havent heard plenty good singles.. but we have..well i may havent.. but you have, still hear piledriver waltz  and I ..will wait for tomorrow just in case.

it always feels like we met bit late..we have..but we are young..well i am juvenile..but you play along, though we will grow up someday and we.. will be in love even if we are thirty eight.


Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Sculpting in time..

You are in this dream.. its getting too real.. but you wake up anyway...and just for those few peaceful moments of a serene end to a night..when everyone but you is asleep.. in fact there is no one.. its just you..

you ..in a room with no windows..you couldnt even tell if it was raining outside..what day.. or week or year.. it was.....was it always raining here? ..what is "here" ?

you cant remember how old are you..because you cant remember.. how many times you have watched this movie before or reached par the computer screen.. remembering..

you remember... shattering of the test tube in your corner of the lab, you promised.. to remember that moment for whatever eternity it takes to get out of that lab or the city or college in fact..

you promised.. that this feeling, wont ever be..  just a deja vu.. instead.. you ll relive. .the distant bleak..

I feel tired ..but  i ve been tired before..
you know how it is..to have been playing a game for countless hours.. and then suddenly go backwards from the start and get a golden colored face or a mushroom ! was it mario? or my imagination?

I cant remember what Jafar or Bowser looked like.. why did i spend so much time fighting these non existent demons? but then arent we fighting existentiality anyways?

so.. this tetris of words above... is what i m feeling..

i dont expect you to understand..not especially if you did not spend an eternity playing video games..

that my feelings can no longer be described in words....only in collages of experiences, memories and songs...yet i keep finding people..who can relate to that..and yet, i too keep relating .. do you ?

i like seeing art as incomplete... i like being a pilgrim.. being in a movie or a book..
may be i leave traces of my tangled perceptions tagged in a corner.. if you saw this movie after hundred years , would you know that i spent the night too? will you find our connection ?  or would you also be just another laision of souvenir carbons that are too pixelated to make sense of themselves...





Monday, January 27, 2014

old souls age hard !


i once thought that the oldest and most boring age was 22 !
i never ever wanted to be 22 !
But ..soon i was 23.. And that too, was 4 yrs ago..

27 ! 
Every great sitcom has started with the protagonist being 27 yr old ! 
(if you have to wiki, you will never know. If you know, you need only wiki :)

27 ! was the dream !!!!!!! Being the new girl in the New York city !

Sure, thats naive idealizing.. but TV sitcoms in fact have had the most impact on my life.. 

people work or sleep through their lives.. 

I have spent all that time in the surreal... 
TV, movies or books or video games or writing ..
quintessentially... i have cherished not being me and certainly not being in the present.. 

I have slept..but dreaming endlessly..
Worked...but only in emergencies ...

There are all kinds of surgeons.. i for one..always feel the urge to be funny all the time !

I feel like a stand up comedian while doing emergency duties...
Despite of having all drugs, cutlery, scopes and lasers in my armour , i have felt more alive in moments, when a colicky patient was distracted by laughter...or times when other unit's patients used to attend my rounds..because they longed for that daily dose of  hearty scolding,...optimism.. or loads n loads of drama.. :) i never recovered from acting i guess :)
Lucky twenty-seven, work's been fun !

27, New York City , Finding love !!!!
We spend so much of our life on finding The One ! yeah ..most of us do.. 
Despite of relationships we may already have.. the relentless persuit for a true connection is behind everything that we do..  that lil bit of extra make up or hour at gym to downsize or putting up that harmless selfie..so that we get noticed by that One person.. hitting random likes !!

yikes !! I didnt turn out to be a crazy workoholic spinster in persuit of true love..that i dreamed of being.. @27

In fact i met The One ! three years ago..(mental note= definitely need to stop watching that sitcom, thankfully its last season !) and it has changed being 27 for me..

Sadly it has prematurely absoluted me from lonesome birthdays,valentines, new years...from feasting on romcoms... succumbing to innate anglophilia...

But..holding on to that will only be...like being Arwind Kejriwal... 
you have been there, done that, won... now get over it !

I ll be finishing Master of Sugery... venturing into Chirology (Its same but sooo french :)
new role, new place, new language perhaps ( i have mastered Gujarati !! especially the local Chamanpuriya accent :) I can speak the gramatically phonetically incorrect, endearing dialect fluently :)

So this year i m gonna try growing up..and so should you Mr Kejriwal !

You may not bee Rakhi Sawant..but i know a fellow Melodrama Queen when i see one :)









Friday, January 17, 2014

A million miles away ...



I'm lying on the moon
My dear, I'll be there soon
It's a quiet starry place
Time's we're swallowed up
In space we're here a million miles away

There's things I wish I knew
There's no thing I'd keep from you
It's a dark and shiny place
But with you my dear
I'm safe and we're a million miles away

We’re lying on the moon
It’s a perfect afternoon
Your shadow follows me all day
Making sure that I'm
Okay and we’re a million miles away

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