Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Sculpting in time..

You are in this dream.. its getting too real.. but you wake up anyway...and just for those few peaceful moments of a serene end to a night..when everyone but you is asleep.. in fact there is no one.. its just you..

you ..in a room with no windows..you couldnt even tell if it was raining outside..what day.. or week or year.. it was.....was it always raining here? ..what is "here" ?

you cant remember how old are you..because you cant remember.. how many times you have watched this movie before or reached par the computer screen.. remembering..

you remember... shattering of the test tube in your corner of the lab, you promised.. to remember that moment for whatever eternity it takes to get out of that lab or the city or college in fact..

you promised.. that this feeling, wont ever be..  just a deja vu.. instead.. you ll relive. .the distant bleak..

I feel tired ..but  i ve been tired before..
you know how it is..to have been playing a game for countless hours.. and then suddenly go backwards from the start and get a golden colored face or a mushroom ! was it mario? or my imagination?

I cant remember what Jafar or Bowser looked like.. why did i spend so much time fighting these non existent demons? but then arent we fighting existentiality anyways?

so.. this tetris of words above... is what i m feeling..

i dont expect you to understand..not especially if you did not spend an eternity playing video games..

that my feelings can no longer be described in words....only in collages of experiences, memories and songs...yet i keep finding people..who can relate to that..and yet, i too keep relating .. do you ?

i like seeing art as incomplete... i like being a pilgrim.. being in a movie or a book..
may be i leave traces of my tangled perceptions tagged in a corner.. if you saw this movie after hundred years , would you know that i spent the night too? will you find our connection ?  or would you also be just another laision of souvenir carbons that are too pixelated to make sense of themselves...


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